https://www.facebook.com/VRGAMINGLLC/

     I have another chance to help VR Gaming with their marketing materials. Posters, magazines, murals and more are some of the things I'll make for this awesome video game retail store. The owner and I have common interest in video games; we both appreciate the art in them.  In the last couple of years I felt guilty for playing video games because I had to pay rent, but this opportunity will make it mandatory for me to welcome video games back into my life. In my case I let my art rule my life. For example; I'd chose to get better at drawing than, say, writing contracts and invoices. This little detail drove me into the ground where I stayed for a few years. Maybe I was scared of paper-work because I was a C student and a college drop-out, which reflected in my adult years. I'm not feeling the pressures of adulthood as much anymore due to my health; something that helped me after I hit the financial obstacles that plagued my life for a while. I would skate, walk and ride my bike to keep my thoughts centered and keep my body healthy.
   
   
   

     There's so many things to rant about. I should relax and call this a "blog entry" because I don't want to come off as a whiny person. Most of my problems can be traced back to my shyness and my lack of communication. I know that eventually the bubble was going to burst and here I am typing with pent-up emotions. I'm a visual artist at the end of the day, but discovering that I can fill paragraphs with my thoughts is new to me. I wasn't a good student through out most of my schooling years. I always cheated and never did homework and this is being reflected in my adult years. My finances suck and the enjoyment I used to feel from drawing is gone. Anyways, here a drawing of a skull; my default thing to draw when I don't know what to draw.

I just got off the phone with my aunt in Mexico. I'm terrible with conversations with my family members. They ask me when am I going to visit and immediately I get anxious because my money has always been low and it's difficult to finance trips to where my family lives. I'm not kidding when I say I'm almost a bum. I fell into a depression and writing a blog will help me free my mind of all the guilt I've ever felt for being an asshole to my family. Just because I don't have money, doesn't mean I should be rude with my family over the phone. I mean, I'm not mean, but I certainly get a lot of anxiety speaking to them. They are not bad people and care about me and my problems. I know that my problems make me uncomfortable whenever the topic of vacationing comes up. I haven't vacationed in more than 3 years. I'm bored with my life and I want to start a new chapter. I certainly don't want to sound whiny, but that's what I'm feeling at the moment.
 

Another rant

I started this blog to show off my art but what do I post when I'm uninspired? The past two years have been hell. I've learned how much patience I have, and it's a lot. However, I want to use my patience when I'm creating art. My mood took me to so many places in my mind that I'm a completely new man now. I have so many projects to catch up on. Anyways, I'm in the middle of moving and I'm on my phone right now. I'm pretty much procrastinating, like I always do. I gotta get my shit together 

One of the hard things about being a self employed artist is that I never know who will be my co-worker. I got a job for like 4 months but I couldn't tolerate people bossing me around. 

I'm not lonely, I'm just a shy guy who has a hard time opening up. Whenever I do open up, other people also open up and this is a good thing. Us introverts over-think too many things and I'm aware of that. Anyways, I want to end this post on a good note; I saw my crush today and she looked spectacular as always. Writing stuff on my blog is therapeutic.

I'll keep posting some more blogs and hopefully I can write something about something useful; meanwhile y'all gotta deal with my rants 😜

Anxiety

Just like many of you I have anxiety attacks and I've been learning to live with it. I just finished invoicing for a caricature gig and it's hard to enjoy this moment. Invoicing companies should be the highlight of my day. I put off doing paper work because I have a bad habit of ignoring responsibilities. Being a flake isn't my goal in life but sometimes I feel cornered. I'm doing relatively okay but there's definitely room for improvement in my life. I know I must work on this issue. I really don't know what the point of this post is but I need to start opening up more about emotions n' stuff... After all I'm an artist and my craft is a method of expression. I want to open up with writing more blogs. Hopefully this will help me in the long run. This is my first post without a picture attached to it. I'm sure I can share many useful tips with my words, anyways, hope everybody has a good rest of the day :D

Day off work

   

Well, I'm snowed in. I'm blogging from my couch and everything is okay. We had the day off at work so I'm not complaining. 

   There's so many things to write about that I decided I should put my writing skills to the test and share an update. 

   First of all, I like the fact that I haven't built an audience on blogger yet because I can write with a little more freedom. 

   

Photo had no relation. I just thought it was cool :) 

   

Drink & Draw OKC is now OKC Pencil Pushers

Tree and Leaf Clothing hosts "Drink & Draw" on Thursdays. Dusty, the owner, changed the name to "OKC Pencil Pushers". Dusty has been hosting "Drink & Draw" for 6 years; he's awesome. I thought this is a good topic to write about now that I want to blog about art. My writing style is a bit crude but let me know what would you like me to blog about; I'd like you guys to pick my brain. 

Hector Lopez