I just got off the phone with my aunt in Mexico. I'm terrible with conversations with my family members. They ask me when am I going to visit and immediately I get anxious because my money has always been low and it's difficult to finance trips to where my family lives. I'm not kidding when I say I'm almost a bum. I fell into a depression and writing a blog will help me free my mind of all the guilt I've ever felt for being an asshole to my family. Just because I don't have money, doesn't mean I should be rude with my family over the phone. I mean, I'm not mean, but I certainly get a lot of anxiety speaking to them. They are not bad people and care about me and my problems. I know that my problems make me uncomfortable whenever the topic of vacationing comes up. I haven't vacationed in more than 3 years. I'm bored with my life and I want to start a new chapter. I certainly don't want to sound whiny, but that's what I'm feeling at the moment.